⛓️ Is My Partner Controlling?
Love or control? The line is thinner than you think. For all relationships, all genders.
📋 How this works
- 1 Select one answer for each question
- 2 Note the points next to your answer (1-4 points)
- 3 Add up your total score at the end
- 4 Check the results table to see what it means
📊 Your Results
What Your Score Means
🟢 Green Flags
Your partner respects your autonomy, your privacy, and your independence. Healthy relationships have space for both people to be themselves. Green flags all around — keep communicating and growing together.
🟡 Yellow Flags
Some controlling behaviors are showing up — jealousy, criticism, or subtle isolation. This is the time to set boundaries. Have a conversation now, before these become patterns. “When you do X, it makes me feel Y. I need Z.”
🟠 Red Flags
This is controlling behavior, not love. The walking on eggshells, the phone checking, the isolation — these are serious. You deserve a partner who trusts you, not one who monitors you. Reach out to trusted friends and consider professional support.
🔴 Critical – Seek Help
This relationship has strong signs of emotional abuse and control. The fear, the loss of self, the constant accusations — these are not love. Please reach out to trusted people in your life. You deserve safety and freedom. Help is available.
🚩 Red Flags Checklist
Check any that apply to your relationship:
🛡️ How to Set Boundaries
Say this: “I need to have time with my friends without feeling guilty. It’s important for my mental health.”
Say this: “My phone is private. I’m happy to share things with you, but I need you to trust me and not demand access.”
Say this: “When you criticize what I wear, it makes me feel controlled. I need you to accept my choices.”
- Start with “I” statements — “I feel,” “I need”
- Be specific about the behavior, not the person
- State what you need clearly
- Watch their reaction — respect or resistance?
- You don’t need permission to have boundaries
📞 If You Need Help
You are not alone.
These resources are confidential and free. They’re here for you.